Inner & Outer Dialogue

Many authors become confused about how to express the difference between inner and outer dialogue in their books. Did you know narration could be a form of inner dialogue too? Let’s dive in to learn when to use italics, quotation marks, or nothing at all. Then we’ll take a look at the proven pattern for crafting captivating dialogue scenes.

Inner Dialogue

Direct internal dialogue is what most of us think of as the character’s inner thoughts. To mark it as such, the common practice is to put these thoughts in italics. Be sure to write this in your character’s voice, present tense regardless of your narrative’s tense, keep it short, and use it sparingly so your reader doesn’t skim over it. It’s also worth noting that you don’t need a dialogue tag since the italics already imply this is the direct internal dialogue of the POV character.

Example: They entered the karaoke bar as a woman sang her heart out on stage. I wish I could sing like that.

Narration

Your narrator could be your protagonist, another character, or someone outside the story all together (learn more about Point of View). Note that if your story is told with limited POV (also known as close or deep POV), the narrator’s voice will be stronger than if you use omniscient POV. This is because limited POV brings us closer to the character so we can feel their emotions firsthand.

Unlike direct internal dialogue, narration (also known as indirect internal dialogue or inner monologue) does not use italics or quotation marks.

Example (Limited POV): They entered the karaoke bar as a woman sang her heart out on stage. If only Ada could sing like that, she’d have a record deal by now.
Example (Omniscient POV): They entered the karaoke bar as a woman sang her heart out on stage. Ada secretly wished she could sing like that.

Outer Dialogue

Outer dialogue is the verbal exchange that occurs between two or more characters (although it can sometimes be a character speaking aloud to themselves as well). You will want to differentiate this sort of dialogue with the use of quotation marks and dialogue tags or action beats to show who is speaking. Remember to consider how natural dialogue sounds in the real world with moments of silence, rare use of each other’s names, and clipped sentences.

Example: They entered the karaoke bar as a woman sang her heart out on stage. “Wish I could sing like that,” Ada said.

Precut Dialogue Pattern

When you have a scene with dialogue, there is a precut dialogue pattern that will have your scenes flowing in a beautifully paced manner while revealing character. Originally suggested by Dwight V. Swain in the 1960s, this pattern was more recently reiterated by Cheryl St. John.

The pattern is as follows:

Motivation (what causes a reaction from your character)
Feeling (what they feel about it)
Action (what action they take)
Speech (what they say about it)

Here’s an example of it repeating in an original on-the-cuff excerpt:

(Motivation) They entered the karaoke bar as a woman sang her heart out on stage. (Feeling) Ada longed to sing along with the popular song. (Action) Instead, she silently followed her best friend to their booth and took a seat opposite her.

(Speech) “Wish I could sing like that,” Ada said, (Motivation) nodding toward the stage. (Feeling) She listened enviously (Action) as the woman hit an impossibly high note and Lila motioned for the cocktail waitress.

Returning her attention to Ada, Lila shrugged her shoulders. (Speech) “You sing better than I do,” she said.